A Concerned Citizen

[dontgiveafox]

 Claim: My landlady is a demon. Or possibly a god whose shrine I've managed to wander into and now live at.


Evidence:

• She irons my underwear
• She never leaves the house
• She's far too emotionally invested in this drama about a vampire and his accountant.
• Food just seems to appear randomly
• We have a very filled spice rack that never seems to get used
• She doesn't seem to sleep. Ever. Or if she does, it's with her eyes open while sitting in the couch.
• Strange people like to visit. Sometimes I'm not convinced they can actually see me.
• Where does the money for this bookshop actually come from?
• She really likes mikans.
• She can catch flies with her bare hands.

I laid out salt around the couch and she just stared at me until I cleaned it up. The effectiveness of this was not testable.


Further investigation is needed.

Comments

[love_doc]

I fear this is a very valid concern. Please keep us updated on your investigation

[dontgiveafox]

Do you think I should risk the salt again?

[love_doc]

Absolutely - inquiring minds need to know!

[dontgiveafox]

What sort of salt would be best? I'm thinking I might try something exotic, like pink rock salt now.

[xyzai]

I wish demons would do my ironing.

[dontgiveafox]

I've never had such perfectly creased underwear in my life.

[xyzai]

Maybe wear your other things like underwear to see if she'll wash those, too.

[dontgiveafox]

Oh she does. She washes all my laundry and neatly irons them. Except for my hand wash only clothes, because her laundry detergent destroys them.

[knuckling]

does she kill the flies, or put them outside?

[dontgiveafox]

If I'm around, she hands them to me for me to put them outside. I don't know what she does when I'm out.

[knuckling]

hmmmmmmmm

thats a point in favour of "god", then. or maybe some kind of insect youkai. you should keep a tally.

[dontgiveafox]

What would a demon do instead, do you think? Pull their wings off and let them die on the floor?

[bana_an_na]

Why is she ironing your underwear?

I don't know if she's a demon but maybe a super natural being.

Also... I'd also want you to clean that salt up. Don't make a mess.

[dontgiveafox]

Because sometimes I regularly forget to tell her not to, and if I don't remind her, she just irons them.

You're on Team god, then?




So, if I surround you in a circle of salt at work, you'll just sit in the circle and stare at me until I clean it up? Should I take that as a sign that you too are a demon?

[bana_an_na]

Ironing underwear is pointless. Maybe she's just trying to be nice.

...Hmmm,Maybe. I will admit that sleeping with your eyes open is pretty strange.

Maybe you should. You never know.

[dontgiveafox]

Have you ever worn freshly ironed underwear, Nanana-chan? It's pretty amazing. A+ would recommend.

I sleep with my eyes open all the time in the shop.

Ok.

[sanada_g]

That is rather suspicious. Perhaps you should move.

[dontgiveafox]

But, it's free rent, Genichirou. And free wifi. And occasional free food. I'll never be able to find as good a place as now.




...



Or is that my soul contract with her talking and forbidding me from leaving?

[sanada_g]

Nothing in life is truly free, Niou. I would be very suspicious... especially of any contracts you sign.

[gtl_yukimura]

Demon.

Hopefully, you didn't sell your soul to her in exchange for living there.

[dontgiveafox]

How would i know if I did?

[gtl_yukimura]

Do you feel an impending sense of doom whenever you think about or seriously consider moving out?

Do you feel like you are an incomplete person? Like a piece of you is missing?

Do you think she would best me in combat?

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then you sold your soul.

[ever_yanagi]

Maybe you need ofuda, not salt.

[dontgiveafox]

Can you help me Yanagi? I'm very concerned about all of this.

[gomenchai]

She sounds more like a god than a demon. I wish I had someone like that to live with.